Thursday 17 March 2016

16 signs your job is destroying your marriage

Maybe you're a workaholic and spend 80 hours a week at the office. Perhaps you come home every night wanting to complain about your micro managing boss or annoying coworkers.
Whatever the culprit, our careers often affect our personal relationships and in extreme cases, they can even ruin marriages.
"Because we spend the majority of our waking hours Monday through Friday at the office, our jobs tend to easily spill into our personal lives.
Here are 16 signs your job is ruining your marriage:
You put work priorities ahead of your relationship
If you find yourself opting out of activities you would normally engage in with your spouse, such as going to a movie, visiting friends or just enjoying time together, you could be placing undue pressure on the relationship.
You're too tired from work to spend time with your spouse
If work is sucking all of your energy out of you, your partner will be affected and take note.
Your spouse has become your career therapist
If you find yourself constantly seeking advice from your spouse on your next "move" at work, you could be hurting your marriage.
You have nothing to talk to them about except work
If you literally have nothing else to talk about with your spouse than work, this is a bad sign.
If you have trouble compartmentalizing work and personal life, you likely will go into discussions about people and projects without even realizing. It's a habit that you have to make a conscious effort to kick.
You arrive late to important personal events or frequently cancel due to work
This can create a slow build-up of resentment from your spouse and create the impression you are choosing your work intentionally over your personal commitments.
Your partner clams up when you ask them about their day
If your spouse feels that they're taking the brunt of your office worries, they may withdraw and seem unusually quiet, not wanting to add to the drama. Or, they may feel that sharing their own struggles is futile, because the topic will ultimately bounce back to your office dilemmas.
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You argue more with your spouse
If you are carrying home stress with you from the office, then you may become more irritable and end up taking it out on your partner in totally unrelated areas.
Your spouse's body language appears defensive
If your spouse reacts to your work discussions with crossed arms, little eye contact, or poor posture, that may be a clue that they are quietly suffering, as your relationship may be.
You argue about new things
If there's some sort of change to your work life maybe a new role, a new boss, a new salary and you're suddenly fighting with your spouse about things you never argued about before, it's probably no coincidence.
You have less patience with your spouse, and vice versa
If your spouse if starting to resent your work, they may not always open up about it because they want to be supportive of you but the resentment might manifest itself in other areas, such as being less patient or more irritable.
You don't feel like socializing.
If you're beginning to feel that your mind is in some far-off place, your spouse probably detects it. If you're preoccupied with work once you get home, or even into the weekend, you may feel that you need to keep to yourself. You may deprive yourself of normal social activities with your partner.
You spend very little time with your spouse because you're always busy with work
If you're staying at the office later at night, going in on weekends more frequently, or bringing work home with you more and more, it will likely cut into your personal time that you'd normally spend with your partner. And, chances are, this will strain the relationship.
You notice he or she doesn't listen to you when you speak anymore.
A spouse who's sick of hearing about you "feeling trapped" at work or that you were admonished again might offer less eye contact or keep busy with another activity as you speak to mitigate the stress, says Taylor.
You start making more sacrifices to make everyone happy
Are you getting up two hours earlier each morning so you can come home earlier at night? Are you giving up personal hobbies or exercise in order to achieve your personal and work goals? This may eventually cause you to break.
You realize that you are happier at work than you are at home, and feel more engaged with your work colleagues than with your spouse
If you look forward to the end of the weekend or even stay an extra day away on your business trip because you realize it's easier or less stressful to be at work than to be at home, you've got a problem on your hands.
Your spouse uses sarcasm to convey their true feelings
If your partner says things like, "I wonder if the children will recognize you when you're back from this trip?" it may be a sign they're fed up.

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